Irish Beer Cheese

Like most normal human beings, I love cheese. And I'm talkin' all kinds of cheese: my likes range from the nuclear orange awesome-ness of Velveeta to the unbearably pungent imported products that one can find at an international cheese shop (or, in most cases, at your local supermarket.) And what's even cooler is realizing how many different products go into cheese making...

In this case, I discovered one made with BEER! (If you're reading this and you already knew about it, you should have told me!)

If you're not a beer person, this type of cheese may not sound appetizing to you. I get that. But I can assure you that it is quite delectable. The hint of Irish stout is just right - doesn't overpower the cheese at all. In fact, this may be the best tasting fromage I've ever brought to my lips.

However, to ensure maximum satisfaction, accompany this cheese with a kick-ass Irish Stout. You surely can't go wrong with that ;-)

Revelin' in Reggae

I'll confess: I have no idea what's going on in this song. But that doesn't stop me from liking it. There's something about reggae music that just makes me feel all tingly inside. Lame, I know. But it's the truth. How can you hate on guys that are just pot-lovin, peace promoting island boys, preaching love and unity to all of God's chillin'? I mean, for all I know, this dude Gyptian could be advocating underage prostitution. That's how indistinguishable his words are to me. But hopefully, for the sake of the happy mood that it puts me in, this song is about what I think it is: good ole fashion love.

Listen to it. It'll make ya feel good, even though you probably won't know what the hell he's talking about...

Jerey Shore Goes To The Big Screen...

HUDSON VALLEY RESTAURANT WEEK!

Sorry for the recent blog absence. Hasn't really been much going on in my life lately. But I felt like it was appropriate to come back with a BANG and inform you good people about this:

What is it, anyway?

Hudson Valley Restaurant Week! Duh!

When is it?

Monday, March 15th - Sunday, March 28th

Who participates?

Over 140 restaurants in Westchester, Rockland, Orange, Putnam, Duchess, Ulster and Colombia counties. One of the restaurants, in fact, is Peter Kelly's famous X2O Exaviars on Hudson, featured on a recent episode of Anthony Bourdain's show, No Reservations, where Bourdain dined with none other than long time adored movie actor Bill Murray, a Hudson Valley resident himself.

What's the deal with pricing?

Restaurants will be serving three-course prix-fixe lunches for $20 and three-course dinners for $28. Drinks are not on the house, though. However, one must consider the deal they're getting here - most of these restaurants are OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive!

To find out more info, go here:

http://www.hudsonvalleyrestaurantweek.com/home.php

ENJOY :-)

Practicing Painful Pilates

Now, I know what you're thinking. Pilates doesn't look painful. After all, the girl in the above picture is smiling, ain't she? But let's assume that she's been practicing for a while - for weeks, months, years even. And by assume, I mean let's come to a definite conclusion, because nobody that I know can hold their legs up like that for an extended period of time and actually look happy about it.

To bring some visuals to the table, let me start off with this: my instructor resembled Linda Hamilton's character from Terminator 2. Or as I like to say, Bad Ass Bitch. The sight of her biceps alone were enough to shut the whole class up when she came strolling through the gymnasium doorway, decked out in an off-pink Yoga suit, clutching the same colored Yoga mat under her bulging right arm.

Silence.

Unlike her physical exterior, though, our instructor's voice was very soft and mellow. She kept reminding us that Pilates is all about breathing and not so much about body movements. In fact, your body should move very little - your breathing should do the moving for you (?). But many participants had difficulty grasping this concept, and released their air in other ways...

...or should I say, through other ends. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you know what I'm talking about here. And what can possibly be more embarrassing than passing wind in a room full of complete strangers, knowing that you've got nine more weeks left to go?

Note to self: Do not eat beans before Pilates class. Ever.

Italian Cooking Class, Numero Uno

Fact: Italians make awesome food.

Fact: Even when they teach cooking classes, Italians do not measure anything.

Fact: I will never learn how to cook like an Italian.

Today was my first Italian cooking class at Nanuet middle school. Actually, it was more like a cooking observation. All of us foodies gathered around our short n' sweet chef, Mrs. Brancatelli, as she merrily prepared escarole soup with cannelloni beans. Despite her vigor and pleasant persona, the resulting product tasted about as interesting as its given name. (For those of you who don't know, escarole is just a fancy type of lettuce.)

I learned a few things about this medley of greens and beans. The first, that escarole grows in sand. And because of its not-so-sanitary upbringing, escarole needs to be scrubbed clean of dirt the way a homicidal murderer would scrub the bloodstain out of an ivory colored carpet. Thorough, ladies and gentleman. Meticulous and thorough.

I also learned that even this seemingly easy-to-make dish can ignite stress in the most neophyte of culinary arts students. One Irish-looking woman behind me threw her hands up in surrender as our Maestra took her third estimated 'pinch' of salt, which was cast into the soup among other 'approximated' ingredients.

"That's the problem with you Italians!" the woman behind me said, exasperated. "You never measure anything! And I come here to finally figure out how to cook, and you still don't measure!"

Our chef just shrugged, looked down into her pot of boiling beans and said, "I'm sorry, but it's in my blood. I just know what needs to be added in and I add it."

That's probably not the answer that Miss Irish was looking for. But I've come to the conclusion that as long as I can still eat like an Italian, I don't mind if I never end up learning to cook like one.

Battle of the Beautiful Boys

I have one pressing question about last night's Academy Awards, and one question only: what the HELL was wrong with George Clooney?!

Now, most women would probably exonerate this most handsome of academy award-winning actors for the glaring death stare that he shot at host Alec Baldwin when it came time for the 30 Rock star to ridicule one of Hollywood's favorite hunks. But just because Georgie's got a pretty face doesn't mean we women should let him off the hook so easily, does it...?!?!

Traditionally, the men and women who are selected to host the Oscars are more or less required to taunt the talented individuals who are nominated for prestigious awards in their mastered art of acting. It makes the show more engaging and allows us regular people to see the softer (or in Clooney's case, hard-ass) side of our cinematic idols.

But instead of a joke said in jest, an eerie exchange of silence passed between the two multi-time winners of the Sexiest Man Alive award - Clooney looking as if he wanted to rip Baldwin's head off; Baldwin looking as though it might be a good time to move on to the next victim before Clooney slices his jugular open.

And funny enough, after a little bit of pointless research, I discovered that there is still some tension between the two stately gentleman which circumnavigates around Clooney's usurping of Baldwin's Sexiest Man Alive throne, back in the mid-90's.

But if this is really the case, shouldn't it have been Baldwin that was throwing the death stares at Clooney?

I believe further investigation is in order here... only if I care enough to figure out the personal lives of these men who are distantly removed from my own.

Until next time!

Boston Beer Fest!

Event: American Craft Beer Fest

Where: Seaport World Trade Center
200 Seaport Blvd in Boston

When: Friday, June 18th - 6-9:30 pm
Saturday, June 19th - 1-4:30 pm
Saturday, June 19th - 6-9:30 pm

Tickets: $40/per person
Includes:
- All 2 0z. beer tastings
- Access to over 325 craft beers!
- Fest guide
- Tasting cup

SEE YA THERE!!!!!!!!

King James Bible At Your Command...

I don't know, man. Maybe it's just me, but when religion and technology coalesce, I don't feel right about it. Not that I feel right about religion to begin with. But watching these two seemingly distinct entities converge is just plain awkward. Like, that should never happen. Ever.

I once saw a monk at a bus stop in Vietnam, garmented in his traditional orange robes, hugging an hp laptop to his chest. He smiled at me, and, to be polite, I smiled back. But my mind was buzzing with questions. Why does he own that laptop?, I wondered to myself. Is he e-mailing the Holy One? Is Buddha on Facebook now?!

I understand that popes, priests, monks, rabbis and all the other "chosen ones" are people, too. They probably enjoy their funny YouTube clip just as much as the next guy. And who can blame them? That stuff is hilarious. But isn't the whole idea of being a spiritual person to lead a humble life, stripped of possessions, trying to show others that the less you have, the better you'll live, blah blah blah?

Having Jesus Christ at my remote control command is cool I guess. But if the Christians who actually bought this DVD were truly devoted to him, they'd get off their lazy ass every Sunday and go to Church to prove it. And the Catholic church's attempt to make yet even MORE money off of one bearded dude's teachings more than 2,000 years ago is no surprise to me.

Bill Maher is probably having a field day with this.

Bye-Bye, ABC!

As of Sunday, March 7th, television network ABC7 will no longer be broadcast via the popular Cablevision network, which services the homes of millions of Americans nationwide. The reason for this sudden abandonment on behalf of America's Most Watched News Network? Well, I'm too lazy to explain it all. So you can individually listen to each corporation's side of the story at the following websites:

Cablevision: http://www.cablevision.com/abc/index.jsp?ftrack=abc

ABC: http://www.saveabc7.com/

What it comes down to: Monayyyyyy $$$$$$$

To be honest, I'm not too perturbed by this recent schism. It's all about money, which both conglomerations have MORE than enough of. And more importantly, as Cablevision states in its own public service announcement, most of ABC's TV shows are available for viewing, FREE OF CHARGE, on their website. So what this means to me is, I can still get my Modern Family fix...and that's pretty much the only thing I care about.

These announcements are great though. Especially if you want a good laugh. I feel like I'm watching two political competitors slander one another at desperate attempts to get more voters on their side. But who really knows the authenticity of both parties claims at the end of the day? We won't know it in politics; we won't know it in television.

And that is the God's honest truth, folks.

March MADNESS!

In my relatively short twenty-two years of life, I've come to accept this one fail-safe basic about nature: rarely does it ever play by the rules. For instance, my hometown of southern NEW YORK has been victim to snow in mid-April, witnessed 76-degree days in mid-December and...well, do you really need any more evidence to prove the Whackness? Those two phenomena alone should be reason enough to bring any global warming skeptic to his cynical knees.

But today was totally different. And by different, I mean totally normal. Today actually tasted like the sweet breath of early spring. I saw the snow melting, heard the soft melody of birds chirping and felt the heat rising as I eased into my Saturn Ion, eagerly switching the temperature dial all the way to FREEZING for the first time in seven months. All-right!

To be honest, I thought winter was never going to end. After last week's two-day fiasco of swirling snowstorm MADNESS, I thought we were all doomed for eternal Ice World. I even Google'd "How To Construct Your Dream Igloo" and "What To Expect When You're Expecting Ice" just in case. But luckily, I won't be needing any of that now because...

Spring is here! HOORAY! Time for mind-boggling movies like the Mad Hatter, which I probably won't see in theaters. Time for awesome Mardi Gras celebrations, which I've never actually taken part in. Time for March Madness basketball, which I don't really care about, but to my credit, will watch every once in a while if there are no re-runs of The Office playing. But still, March is a good month. The best, in my opinion, because it speaks of so many good things to come: warm weather is just around the corner, and so is the retrieval of my good spirits that I lost back in the cold. I'm comin' for ya, guys!